COOKIE MONSTER
SEARCHES DEEP WITHIN
HIMSELF AND ASKS: IS ME
REALLY MONSTER?
- - - -
Me know. Me have problem.
Me love cookies. Me tend to get out of control when me see cookies. Me know it not natural to react so strongly to cookies, but me have weakness. Me know me do wrong. Me know it isn't normal. Me see disapproving looks. Me see stares. Me hurt inside.
When me get back to apartment, after cookie binge, me can't stand looking in mirror—fur matted with chocolate-chip smears and infested with crumbs. Me try but me never able to wash all of them out. Me don't think me is monster. Me just furry blue person who love cookies too much. Me no ask for it. Me just born that way.
Me was thinking and me just don't get it. Why is me a monster? No one else called monster on Sesame Street. Well, no one who isn't really monster. Two-Headed Monster have two heads, so he real monster. Herry Monster strong and look angry, so he probably real monster, too. But is me really monster?
Me thinks me have serious problem. Me thinks me addicted. But since when it acceptable to call addict monster? It affliction. It disease. It burden. But does it make me monster?
How can they be so callous? Me know there something wrong with me, but who in Sesame Street doesn't suffer from mental disease or psychological disorder? They don't call the vampire with math fetish monster, and me pretty sure he undead and drinks blood. No one calls Grover monster, despite frequent delusional episodes and obsessive-compulsive tendencies. And the obnoxious red Grover—oh, what his name?—Elmo! Yes, Elmo live all day in imaginary world and no one call him monster. No, they think he cute. And Big Bird! Don't get me started on Big Bird! He unnaturally gigantic talking canary! How is that not monster? Snuffleupagus not supposed to exist—woolly mammoths extinct. His very existence monstrous. Me least like monster. Me maybe have unhealthy obsession, but me no monster.
No. Me wrong. Me too hard on self. Me no have unhealthy obsession. Me love cookies, but it no hurt anyone. Me just enthusiast. Everyone has something they like most, something they get excited about. Why not me? Me perfectly normal. Me like cookies. So what? Cookies delicious. Cookies do not make one monster. Everyone loves cookies.
Me no monster. Me OK guy. Me OK guy who eat cookies.
Who me kidding? Me know me never actually eat cookies. Me only crumble cookies in mouth, but me no swallow. Me can't swallow. Me no have no esophagus. Me no have no trachea. Me only have black fabric throat. Me not supposed to be able to even talk.
Me no eat cookies.
Me destroy cookies.
Me crush cookies.
Me mutilate cookies.
Me make it so no one get cookies.
Everyone right. Me really is cookie monster.
Filed under
fun
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Ruth and Jefrey came over for a vacation and we sure had a blast. The jam-packed nine-day holiday ended all too soon; I hope I get to see more of my friends as often as I want. Come to think of it, who else but really good friends would spend for a quick break and hop on a plane to Bangkok just to see me? I’m sure it wasn’t the elephant show, the magnificent temples, the Songkran festival, the really cheap clothes, the river cruise, the beach or the exotic cuisine that drove them here. Right, guys? Guys?
Saturday morning at 1AM I practically dashed to the airport to fetch Ruth and Jeff. I was very excited to see them again and wanted to make them feel very welcome so when the passengers started pouring out from the arrivals section, I hailed this over my head for them to see and find me:
Several people were looking in my direction and reading the poster with curious expressions on their faces, probably thinking whether we were members of a cult or something. The answer is yes.
In a nutshell, and because I’m too lazy to document everything in detail, here’s what we squeezed into our short holiday:
- toured a number of temples
- talked and joked and made fun of people - including ourselves
- cruised the Chao Phraya river and had dinner at the top deck of a floating resto
- devoured a lot of Thai food and prayed we won’t get hemorrhoids (or in Jeni’s words: cauliflower anus)
- got caked on the face and splashed with water in Khao San during the Songkran festival
- enjoyed world-class jazz and acoustic music at the cozy Brown Sugar
- fed the pigeons at the park and got “peck marks” all over our arms
- walked around Patpong, Bangkok’s red light district, and got hundreds of offers to watch the naughty “Pingpong shows” (the expression on Ruth’s face was priceless)
- tried Lebanese cuisine and decided the lamb made us very sleepy
- fed an elephant prancing about in Sukhumvit road
- braved the heat and shopped for bargains in the famous Chatuchak market. Twice.
- went to Jim Thompson’s house museum and listened to conspiracy theories about his disappearance (my favorite was that he stepped on a vortex and got teleported to the year 2433, where he was trampled by a giant troll by the name of Juno– my own theory)
- saw the entire Bangkok skyline from the tallest building in Thailand
- watched a boring crocodile show (no man-eating happened- we were shortchanged!)
- watched some elephants in Samphran do some amazing acrobatics, soccer and even role-playing
- watched a magic show where the magician’s assistant, a ladyboy, showed complete nonchalance and boredom it was too hilarious
- had coffee and found a freaking little roach inside my cup (I didn’t find out about it until I had my last sip, whereupon I choked and gagged… and died…)
- introduced Ruth and Jeff to my favorite ice cream flavor – Rum Raisin
- went to the beach in Pattaya and saw nice waters but no beautiful ladies
- had fresh Japanese food in an authentic Jap resto where we asked the waitresses to take our picture but got a quizzical look on their faces instead, like they’ve never heard of such a ridiculous idea before
Read Ruth’s blog about our escapade
here. Will post pictures soon!
Filed under
holiday,
thailand
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Donna, my friend and former officemate from KPMG Manila, was in town last week on a business trip. I couldn’t let pass the opportunity to see her… and ask her to bring my favorite Lucky Me pancit canton all the way from the Philippines.
I don’t know what ingredients they put in the seasoning but Lucky Me is just so damn tasty. I couldn’t compare it to any of the noodles that’s I’ve tried here in Bangkok, honestly. My favorite variant is the one with chili-mansi flavor. Chili plus kalamansi (musk lime) equals heavenly bliss. And kidney stones.
Thank you, baby Jesus and San Lorenzo Ruiz, for Lucky Me pancit canton.
Filed under
everyday
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Who are you?
Who is this 10,000th visitor of my blog?
He or she has visited the site before, and guess how he or she arrives at my blog: through a google search result of a picture of Jasmine Trias. Visitor is truly a fan, but why must it be papara-pa-pam Jasmine Trias?
It's a photo I took while I chanced upon her in a mall show in SM Makati way back. Can you see the little otter hiding inside her hair?
10,000th visitor is from San Jose, California (or at least the ISP's server is located there), and he or she uses Firefox and runs Windows Vista on his or her PC. It's a big screen he or she is using too, like 1680 x 1050 big. His or her last visit was on Apr 2, 2008 at 6:18:35 pm.
You can't run. You can't hide. Reveal yourself! (Thunder! Flashes of lightning!)
And if you give me your postal address (through the Contact menu, not through Comment so that I'll receive it in my email) you might find a surprise in your mailbox one of these days.
Filed under
fun
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Just in case you just got back from a sabbatical up in the mountains of Kota Kinabalu (I shall never forget, Fr. Nicomedes Yatco), Service Pack 1 for Windows Vista has been released 2 weeks ago. The first thing I noticed after installing the massive update was my web camera was no longer working. The hell. However I haven't got the chance to investigate just yet (or do some trial and error- yet again) because I rarely use my webcam in the first place. I'd probably do some troubleshooting when the need to use the webcam will arise.
But the good thing about SP1 is that somehow after installing it, my notebook could now detect more than 2GB of RAM. My problem before was that when I bought an extra 2GB RAM module, my system could only choose to detect either the existing 512MB memory, or the new 2GB, but never both at the same time. But now, praise Bill Gates and his nutsack my notebook recognizes both modules. So my RAM now is 2.5GB, yahoo! And the difference is quite noticeable. I can run multiple applications with a lot less lag, and get this- my notebook could now display the Computer Info splash screen in 60 seconds (sometimes even less) and shut down in 10 seconds. I love it. Actually it will probably display the splash screen sooner if it doesn't connect first to the Wi-fi network that it is configured to detect upon startup.
Just a tip for other Acer 4310 owners, install the 512MB module at the bottom slot first, then the 2GB on top. I tried the other way around and it wouldn't boot.
Could somebody tell me how to fix the camera? Thanks.
By the way, might I say that I am generating a lot of page views for my posts about this notebook. You techie cheapskate friends you.
***
I can't freaking wait for Songkran. My friends are coming for a vacation!
UPDATE:
Apparently the solution for my webcam problem is a no-brainer: just uninstall, restart, and manually install the Bison driver again. Works fine now.
Filed under
geek squad
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